The following are the ten ways that will help you to become one of your teenager’s best friends

Best friends! It may seem impossible to believe, but today’s teens do want to consider their parents as friends, even though they think we could never understand the realities of their world. They are also interested in what it was like being a teenager during the Stone Age. Life without cell phones or the Internet must have been unimaginable! 

So even with this interest, can parents and teens really become best friends when competing with busy schedules, and raging hormones? The answer is a resounding YES…and it is worth the effort! 

What is important to understand is that both of you have to want the new relationship on a long-term basis. You cannot appear to be going through the motions, or acting like you are fitting this new relationship into your busy schedules. 

As a father, I knew I was a good provider. I put food on the table, a roof over my teen’s head, and helped fund those great sales that saved me so much money. 

As important as the father role is, it was improving the “Dad” role that allowed me to develop a lasting relationship with my daughter. This also helped me with my two stepsons. Essentially, I modified the communication and problem-solving skills that I successfully used at work to improve my relationship with my teens. 

The following are the ten ways that will help you to become one of your teenager’s best friends: 

• Define what trust meant to each of you. Agree that there will be no games or hidden agendas—just honesty—to build the trust. 

• Agree that mutual trust is earned by exhibiting consistent behavior. The amount of trust that you develop will be proportionate to the amount of freedom that they will enjoy. 

• Anything that is discussed with you must be kept in the strictest of confidence. This will help reinforce the trust. 

• Talk to them as adults while remembering that they are still kids. This allows for flexibility during those trying adolescent years. 

• Become an attentive listener. Multitasking may be necessary at work, however it will make you appear distracted when discussing something important with your teenager. Learn to focus. 

• Ask the right questions without appearing to interrogate them. It is important that they not fear coming to you to discuss what is important to them. It is equally important that they feel that you will take the time to understand what they are trying to communicate. 

• Do not judge them for their actions or ever say, “I told you so! This helps in having them continue to come to you to discuss topics, and encourages them to do things better the next time. 

• When helping them with problem solving, discuss the desired outcomes first, and what they need to do to resolve their problem. Then allow them to proactively make their own decisions based upon the facts rather than reacting to their emotions. 

• Set guidelines instead of making rules for them to follow. They should have input into the guidelines, and then be expected to follow them. They will perceive this as fair and in their best interests. 

• “Hang out” together as oppose to just spending time together. Remember that there is a difference between motion and productivity, so make your time together interactive. For example, if you go to a movie, then go for an ice cream and discuss the movie. Or play some “one on one” games or sports. Do what best friends do! 

If you want to be a better parent, don’t forget the child within you. All too often, we get so wrapped up in being an adult that we forget how to have fun and enjoy life. I found that by using my imagination, I rekindled my creativity, and this made me an “okay guy” for my teenagers to hang out with.

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How To Deal With It?

Adolescent acne is referred to by many names, teen acne, acne adoloscent, and hormonal acne to name just a few. Whatever you want to call it, it can be frustrating, painful, and embarrassing to a teen. 

Living with acne over a prolonged period during your teen years can be emotionally devastating, after all this is the age where your appearance is most important. Teen acne is very hard on the ego, often resulting in teasing and razzing from peers. Some teens suffer from not only acne but sever depression. 

During the adolescent years almost every teen will have at least an occasional whitehead, blackhead, or pimple. Adolescent acne usually occurs between the ages of 12 and 20, and is usually the result of fluctuating hormone levels. Once the hormones stabilize out the acne will normally disappear. 

So what’s the bet way to deal with adolescent acne? The simplest and most important thing a teen can do, is to learn to take good care of their skin, keeping it clean and as oil free as possible. This is not a cure but can help keep acne breakouts to a minimum. 

Eating healthy and drinking plenty of water will also help by keeping the skin hydrated and the body flushed. Girls should use oil free cosmetics. Lightly exfoliating once a week will help open pours, and remove dead skin debris. 

Milder cases of acne can be controlled by using conventional over the counter medicines that are applied directly to the skin. These medications usually include benzoyl peroxide or retinoic acid as an active ingredient. 

Some natural products that can be used to treat acne are tea tree oil or Echinacea. Wash your face twice a day with a mixture of these herbs to reduce the number of break outs. Both have anti-inflammatory and anti-septic qualities. 

In more severe adolescent acne a Doctor may try various oral medications such as antibiotics, oral contraceptives or Accutane. 

As teens get older and hormones stabilize, fewer outbreaks should be seen, however some people do continue to have outbreaks well into adult hood. If the teen acne condition worsens or becomes emotionally debilitating it is important to seek medical help from a dermatologist. 

You do not want an adolescent to grow up with skin and emotional scars as a result of acne, so treat not only their physical scars but their emotional scars.

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How Brothers and Sisters can Cope with Autistic Family Members

When a family member is diagnosed with autism, there is a vast amount of information teaching parents how to cope with an autistic child, and there is also information for parents about dealing with an autistic child's different behaviors. However, there are fewer learning tools for those who have an autistic sibling, even though this is a very stressful situation for brothers and sisters of an autistic child. The following tips can help children cope with an autistic sibling.

Sometimes parents are so involved in preparing themselves and their autistic child for the transition ahead that they forget that their other children must also deal with the new situation. Often, siblings of an autistic child may feel the new situation acutely. They may feel neglected by parents or jealous of the autistic child who is now receiving more attention. Also, they may find their peers constantly teasing them about having an autistic sibling, which can lead to more stress. This may lead to behavioral issues, with the sibling acting out and becoming a "problem child" to receive attention. In some cases, the sibling may even try to hurt the autistic brother or sister in an attempt to remove him from the family environment.

However, this is not always the case. Sometimes, having an autistic sibling forces one to "grow up" and become responsible. There can be a strong emotional attachment to the autistic sibling and a keen desire to keep him or her safe in all situations. Furthermore, living with an autistic sibling can teach one to be more open about another person's differences. In this way, having an autistic sibling is a life-enriching experience that pushes individuals to be emotionally and mentally stronger and to be more tolerant towards others in life

One tip for siblings to cope with their autistic brother or sister is to find a support group. There should be resources available at the local chapter of the Autism Society of America. This is especially important in helping siblings feel that they are not alone and isolated in this unfolding situation-others are dealing with the same sorts of problems. Also, try to increase family interaction. Schedule a regular family day or family night each week, where all children can spend time with parents or other family members and share their day or week experiences and any problems. The best thing to remember is to be open about how you are feeling. If children feel that their parents are neglecting some aspect of their life, simply asking them for a moment of their time is often the best solution. It is important for parents to be understanding towards their children's needs for attention, whether they are autistic or not. Communication is the key to helping the entire family run smoothly.

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Dealing with Autistic Teenagers

For most parents, one of the most trying times in their lives is during their child's teenage years. When puberty hits, young adults go through serious changes in their bodies and minds, and parents have little or no control over many situations. In an autistic child, puberty is no different. Although your autistic child is not experiencing puberty in quite the same ways as others his or her age, major hormonal changes still occur in the body. This can lead to extreme results, and this can be either good or bad depending on how your child reacts to the new hormone levels.

One of the scariest side effects of changes in an autistic person's body is the onset of seizures. Many autistic individuals experience seizures from birth to adulthood, but even if your child does not suffer from these episodes, he or she may begin to experience seizures during puberty and afterwards, due to the new levels of hormones in the body. Strange as it may sound, violent shaking seizures are not necessarily a bad thing. Almost a quarter of autistic children experience seizures, but many go undetected because they are not textbook versions of seizures. If you recognize that your child is experiencing a seizure, you can do something about it, and doctors will be able to better treat your child. However, if the seizures are subconsciously happening, you and your child may not realize it. The result of these small hidden seizures can be a loss in function, which can be devastating, especially if you child was improving before puberty. Regular check-ups during puberty, therefore, are extremely important.

The changes might not necessarily be a bad thing. New hormone levels in the body and the other changes associated with puberty might help your autistic child grow and succeed in areas in which he or she normally had no skill or interest. Many parents report that their child's behavior improved, and that learning in social settings was easier.

The important thing about puberty is to learn to monitor the changes in your child very carefully and to ask your doctor lots of questions. Remember that puberty is a difficult experience for any young adult, and so it will be even more difficult for someone with autism. Try to practice patience and understanding with your teen, and be careful to regulate his or her autism so that the transition from child to adult will go more smoothly.

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